Sunday, September 26, 2010

Lookin' for love....

There is something about going out to dinner with a group and sitting next to an empty place setting, that makes you feel really alone.  And last night, that’s exactly what happened to me.

When I was bigger, I never really had a boyfriend.  And I guess I never really expected to.  When people asked me if I was seeing anyone, I would tell them just how hard it was to meet someone while going to an all women’s college.  Or how working in a female dominated profession didn’t really make it any easier. 

It wasn’t like I didn’t try.  Eharmony?  oh yes…I sure did.  But after meeting a few bad eggs, I didn't renew my subscription.  

Despite the excuses I gave, deep down inside I felt that my size was what was really holding me back from meeting someone great.  I understood that looks had a lot to do with the process.  Whether right or wrong, I felt being a bigger person made a bad first impression. 

To be honest, more than once I even tried lowering my standards.  Yeah…you can imagine how well that turned out. 

So, I took last year to focus on getting my life and myself together.  And now that I’m more average sized and with the same personality and even better assets, I thought things would be way easier for me.  But alas, I am surprised on how difficult meeting someone remains.  And as I watch my friends get married and have babies, I feel like I’m running out of time.  My birthday is 4 weeks from today…and I will be the ripe old age of 29. 

When people tell me that I’m “quite the catch” and that I’ll “meet someone when I’m not looking”….I totally want to smack them upside the head.  No offense, as I’m sure some of you were already thinking it.  

Honestly, I would like to know when someone in my position ISN’T looking?!?!  I mean seriously.  My radar is ALWAYS on. 

So, my real question is, was it that people never really cared how I looked?  Was it who I was as a person that turned people off?  Or is it that my standards are too high?  Honestly, I don’t know…and if I think about it anymore, I’m going to need a glass of wine.  But what I do know is that as November looms just a few days away, I have to start to comprehend the thought of spending the holiday season as a single person…again. 

So here I am, wearing my cute new dress last night.  Will I meet someone someday?  I sure hope so!  But until then, I'm just a single white female...lookin' for love…and someone to sit next to her at dinner!


  1. You look absolutely beautiful!! You will meet a fabulous guy soon, I am sure of it!! I have someone who you might want to go on a date with....message me on facebook if you are interested!! :)

  2. First - you look great. Way to go! Second - 29? Honey, come on - you're still young. What's the rush? Maybe it was me but I felt your post had a bit of desperation to it and that is what might be turning people off.

    Enjoy your new health, enjoy some new activities and be happy for what you have in your life & not what you don't. Yes, it sounds ridiculous but when you least expect it you will meet someone. That is what happened to me and I am also a "former fattie."

    You look great - enjoy it and keep it up!

  3. Hi there! I know how you feel. I had the lap band surgery last June (so 15 months ago) and I've lost a lot of weight. And yet, still single. Did the online dating thing...nothing. I mean, it is a blow to your self esteem when NO ONE seems interested. So maybe it's not the weight...maybe it's actually me - my face, my personality, what??

    But in all seriousness, you look great in that dress and I'm sure it's only a matter of time before you find someone. Me, I'm not so sure!


  4. Hi-First of all you look great and you are very pretty. I am currently overweight and have been married for 10yrs. I was much thinner when I met my husband but still over weight chubby/chunky. I met my husband on line when people did not even have the technology to post pictures. I was always fixed up on blind dates and had much success and failures with those and online dating. I was picky and didnt care, just because I was chuby back then didnt mean I shouldnt have standards or that I should have thrown them out the window. I almost walked out of the bar on the first date with my now husband because he wasnt what I was looking for as far as appearance went but talking to him for hours every day for weeks made me realize that if I turned my back on him then I would have made the biggest mistake of my life. Dont give up your guy will come keep putting yourself out there keep letting everyone you know to fix you up and absolutely keep on line dating he might not show up over night but he will come. I kept the faith and I am so glad I did!

  5. Kristen, you are beautiful inside and out and it is only a matter of time before you meet the person who will love you and make you happy.

    Look around you---there are women of all shapes and sizes (not nearly as pretty as you) getting married (and as you know, popping out babies.)

    Confidence is a very attractive quality, so the more you love yourself the sooner you will meet the guy who won't believe his luck that no one has scooped you up before him.

    (As someone else with weight issues, I know how hard that "loving yourself" is, but that is the first step.)

  6. I love love love that dress and you are totally rocking it!!