Tuesday, February 1, 2011

"You're still fat".....

I love when people comment on my blog.   It’s just the coolest thing ever.  Every time one of you comments on here, I get sent an e-mail.  And I literally get friggin' giddy every time I see one. 

Last Sunday, I was at a party with some old friends.  (AND my new boyfriend, Chris...but more on him later!)   As I casually checked my e-mail on my phone, I noticed that someone commented on my blog.  And randomly it was on this one, from last June, where I wrote about my first bathing suit shopping experience “post-op.”  

I was excited, so I quickly opened it and this is what I saw:


Wow.

All the insecurities and frustrations that the “fat girl” inside of me used to feel all the time came rushing back with those three little words.  I lost my breath.  My heart started to race.  And I didn’t quite know what to do.  So, I pulled myself together.  I put my phone away, poured myself another glass of wine, and went back to the party….deciding to continue to have a good time and not think about it again until we left. 

I think that when you write a blog and open your thoughts to the public, you have to be prepared for criticism.  I have been and have dealt with it pretty well,  not only on here, but in person as well.  Up until now, this criticism has been constructive…and polite.  So, I guess this comment just threw me for a loop.  

But only for about 3 seconds.  

Sure, I was bigger in that post than I am now, but at that point in my recovery, I had worked really hard to get into that bathing suit.  I was proud of myself.  And I refuse to let “Anonymous” make me feel anything less.  Certainly not with those three little words.  

Was I fat back then? Maybe. 

Am I "still" fat?  No, I don’t think so.

Today, I am happy, healthy, and think I look really good in “skinny jeans.”  I weight 172lbs….and have lost 129lbs.  I wear a size 8-10…from a size 24-26.  I work out 3 days a week and even though I can eat almost anything, I’m still really careful.  No one can take this away from me.   

When I got in the car after leaving the party, I talked to Chris about what happened.  After reassuring me that I was indeed beautiful, he said something that made a lot of sense.  “Some people are just stupid…and you can’t fix stupid.”  He’s just the greatest. 

So, Anonymous…thank you for your comment.  It made me realize that, although I am still insecure at times, I have come a long way and I am not as constantly worried about what the world thinks of me.  This is a huge step forward for me, so I am even more proud of myself.  

You think I’m “still fat”...Good for you.  

I think I’m fabulous...inside AND out.  We’ll just have to agree to disagree.

12 comments:

  1. I agree with your new boyfriend (and congratulations btw! SO happy for you), but I also think that people are more than stupid, they are mean. It makes those that are weak feel better to belittle others. You are an inspiration to many people and I absolutely think that you are fabulous BOTH inside and out!
    JFox- from SLHS

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  2. You're amazing, courageous and beautiful!

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  3. you go girl!!!! You look great! Be true to yourself because those that mind dont matter, and those that matter dont mind!! xoxo

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  4. Screw the coward that posted anonymously. You look great and are much healthier than you were before. I’m glad you feel great about yourself – done let anyone make you feel any differently! Your hard work has paid off and you look great!

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  5. I am actually looking forward to the time when your blog is not about weight. I know that sounds odd. But you are such a good writer and I really enjoy reading about your exploits. Yes, I know you initially started this blog to write about your changes ... but I think you'll find one day ...that you have more to say then just about weight loss. You won't be that person any longer ...and soon (when you are ready) you'll find a new title for the blog and continue your journey. I knew the bf was right around the corner (btw). Looking forward to hearing more from you! "just a friend"

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  6. Kristen, this makes me so sad that someone would ever say that to you.... You have done so much to change your entire lifestyle, not just "lose weight" and a huge part of that is learning confidence. You looked great in that bathing suit, and some stupid coward (who was just jealous... why else would they be creeping through your old posts?) shouldn't make you ever feel like you haven't achieved so much, even if only for that second! i'm glad you set them straight about how fabulous you are! And remember, when this blog turns into a book-movie deal, you can choose to cast a "fat" ugly loser typing that comment to you.. while someone like Jennifer Aniston plays you! <3 mindy

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  7. What an obnoxious comment.

    I found your blog through Boston.com and I love your writing! I went back and read through the whole thing and I have to commend you on both your journey, and on having the courage to share all of this with the world. I have also had food/weight issues, and I know how hard it can be to talk about this stuff.

    Congratulations on your amazing success-- you look FANTASTIC! And it sounds from your posts that you've come a very long way emotionally, too.

    Looking forward to reading more. :)

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  8. Wow, Kristen. I don't understand how some people can be so mean (and stupid! Love the comment by your bf!)

    Good for you for writing about it. It took courage to do so and it was probably therapeutic for you. And you ARE "fabulous inside and out!!" I really mean that!!

    I just love reading your blog. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
    Caitlin (McCaul) Howard

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  9. Obviously that comment came from some thin person who is extremely unhappy with him/herself. There are always going to be people out there who hate it when they see other people achieve things and feel happy and try to make themselves feel better by saying rude things. You look awesome, and you shouldn't feel doubtful about that at all. You should feel sorry for the miserable little commenter instead! ;)

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  10. WOW!Hi Kristen, i just learned about your blog from one of the nurses at BI, and i am already drawn in, what a wonderful experience and great positive read...you go girl!

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  11. Kristen, YOU ROCK!!! You work so hard and I can guarantee you that the person that wrote that is completely incapable of the incredible things that you do. You are stronger, wiser and certainly motivated to help/inspire other people which says a lot about you. This is Beth by the way, your Personal Trainer that has seen you transform and work damn hard 3 days a week with me for the last year. You are not only an inspiration to other people for obvious reasons, but you are also an inspiration to me! The reason you are happy, healthy and confident is because you worked hard for it and you deserve all good things. Keep it up!!! See you Thursday in the AM! :)

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  12. Wow. Just found your blog today and saw this dim spot on such a bright and positive site.
    Disregard the ridiculousness of the comment in regard to you, it's simply false.

    As for the poster, fat isn't an insult, it is a temporary state of size. That poster is ugly on the inside it's not temporary!

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