It’s weird that strangers are suddenly treating me differently.
I am generally a nice person. No matter where I am, I am overly polite…to everyone. Even on the phone. (Actually, my “phone voice” has been made fun of on several different occasions) You will always get a please or thank you along with eye contact and a smile out of me.
Mostly, I think that I do this is because I have a paralyzing fear of being judged by strangers, so I will do anything to not make people think of me as the “horrible fat girl.” I guess it’s not the worst reaction to a paralyzing fear that a person could have…But I digress…
I pretty much thought I was the only polite person in the world left, judging by the reactions I usually got from people. But recently, people’s reactions have changed…a lot. I have been getting the eye contact and smiles back. People have been saying “hello!” or “have a nice day!” right out of nowhere.
It’s been really surprising….and completely infuriating.
I mean, what was wrong with me before? Now that I’m smaller, I’m suddenly visible to the world? Suddenly acceptable? I guess I just never realized how people were treating me. But, now that I can see the difference, I am completely disgusted.
Regardless of how thin I get, I plan on continuing to treat people the same way I have always treated them. But, from now on, I’m not going to do it because I’m afraid of being judged. I’m going to do it because I’m a nice person. To be perfectly honest, everyone deserves respect…no matter what they look like.