Friday, April 30, 2010

A warm fuzzy...

Whenever I get a nice e-mail or card that really makes me feel good about myself, I keep in a file in my desk called "warm fuzzies." A lot of them are from my patients telling me how wonderful their birth experience was. Some are from different administrators from when I went to college, writing me congratulations or recommendation letters. A few are funny or touching letters from my family.

When I have a bad day, or just need a pick-me-up, I go to this file and read them all. It ALWAYS makes me feel better.

When I started writing this blog, I was showered with a lot of e-mails, phone calls, and faceboook comments. They were all very sweet and supportive; just what I needed at the time. I couldn’t keep them all in my “warm fuzzy” file, but receiving them was so pivotal in my continued success. I can’t thank everyone enough.

The past few weeks my weight loss has begun to slow a bit. Even though this was an expected part of the process, I still got discouraged thinking “THIS IS IT?!?!?” After losing 5-10lbs a week, it is a scary thing to think it was over. I have lost a lot of weight in the past 10 weeks or so, BUT I know I have plenty more weight to lose.

A few days ago, I received a touching e-mail from a friend I went to college with who I haven’t seen in years. It was unexpected, but just what I needed…the perfect e-mail at the perfect time. I was reminded that weight is a continuing struggle for a lot of people who chose to lose weight in different ways. It also reminded me that I need to keep writing, not only for myself, but for the people who read this blog. It brought tears to my eyes and pushed me out of the slump I had been in for the last week or so.

With her permission, I would love to share it with you now.


Hi Kristen,

I know we haven't been in touch much since the Simmons days, but I really felt like I had to send you a message. I have been thinking about writing you for a while, but until this point hadn't really felt like I "should" or had the courage to, ha ha.

I have been reading your blog, and have been incredibly moved and amazed by it. Not only are you a great writer, but your honesty and openness in your writing is courageous, inspiring, and beautiful, all at once. It is truly refreshing to read words about a person's relationship and battle with food that I could relate to. Because that's what it is - a relationship. So many times while reading your postings I found myself nodding uncontrollably... other times laughing out loud, and still others, tearing up.

My own personal "issues" with food have been extensive since junior high, and I have been both unhealthily under- and (most recently in the last few years since college) over- weight, but I feel like I am finally getting to a place where I am learning how to form a new and different relationship with it, and look at it in a different way. It is, as you know; quiet a struggle, with ups and downs (both on the scale and emotionally) along the way, but definitely worth it in the end.

While I know I do not have an identical story to yours, and would never claim to, there are definitely parts of it that strike incredibly close to home and that I can relate to and see myself in.

Since the fall, I have lost 43 lbs so far. I have hit a plateau, and am very frustrated at times, but I am still determined to keep going. I want to be at a place where I am healthy, in body and mind, and with food.

I know we were not super close in school, and I'm not even entirely sure why I am writing all of this to you, especially because it can be such a personal and emotional thing, ha ha, but I guess it's mostly to say thank you for having the courage to be true to yourself, and to share that with others. I also wanted to congratulate you on your amazing successes so far - both the actual weight loss, and the very apparent personal struggles and growth you have gone through in getting here.

I sincerely apologize if this seems like a really random "why the hell is she writing me and telling me this stuff" message, or if I have over-stepped in any way, but I really felt like I wanted to write.

Keep up the good work! You look sensational!!! As I know you know, the process of losing weight and becoming healthier comes hand-in-hand with emotional growth as well, and so I congratulate you on that as well!


Yesterday, I stepped on the scale and saw I had finally reached another milestone I had been anxiously waiting for. I had finally lost 60lbs.

Those last 5 pounds were the hardest to lose since I had my surgery. I realize now that I need to continuously remind myself that this is an 18-month process and more weight will come off. But when it slows or I get discouraged, I’m really glad I have this e-mail in my “warm fuzzy” file!!!

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