Saturday, November 13, 2010

Answer: My opinion on the Marie Claire internet controversy...

I wanted to get your view on this week's Internet uproar on the story controversy.  Although, the writer apologized (after) for her harsh words about her discomfort towards obese people/ obese people kissing--how do you feel about her original entry?

When I got this question, I had not yet heard about this article.  But I am so glad it was brought to my attention. 
This woman confirmed for me in one or two pages of writing, everything I feared that people were thinking about me my entire life.  This rush of emotion made me so horrified that I think I could have throw up.   I felt like my answer was too long to put in the "answers" post, so I'm giving it it's own entry.

I don’t know what kind of people Maura Kelly, the author of this article, finds acceptable in the world.  

OH…I’m sorry.  I meant HER world.  Because we are obviously all here for Maura to judge upon.  

I have no idea how this article got published, because it is not only horribly insensitive, but also offensive to anyone who doesn’t fit into what this woman finds appropriate to look at. 


Anyone who knows me knows that when I get angry at anything in writing, I like to respond with a point-on-point response.  So I copied and pasted this article and responded to every insulting, hurtful, and uneducated statement in it.  The black type is the article….the red is my response.  

All I really wish is that I could say this to her in person…

Should "Fatties" Get a Room? (Even on TV?)

The other day, my editor asked me, "Do you really think people feel uncomfortable when they see overweight people making out on television?"  Because I can be kind of clueless


I'm not much of a TV person — I had no idea what she was talking about, so she steered me to this CNN article, about the CBS sitcom Mike & Molly. As CNN explains, "the show centers around a couple who meet at an Overeaters Anonymous group [and] has drawn complaints for its abundance of fat jokes [as well as] cries from some viewers who aren't comfortable watching intimacy between two plus-sized actors.  

I read that was about how weight shouldn't matter when you get cast for roles in TV and movies.  It was great.  I haven't see "Mike and Molly" but it sounds great.  

My initial response was: Hmm, being overweight is one thing — those people are downright obese!

Annnnd….your point?  These people sound happy.  Sounds like good TV.  Who cares what they look like? 

And while I think our country's obsession with physical perfection is unhealthy,

Finally…an intellegnt thought…congratulations. 

I also think it's at least equally crazy, albeit in the other direction, to be implicitly promoting obesity!

Oh, so how about the popular show "Dexter" on HBO.  It surely promotes becoming a murderer.  And how about "True Blood"???  As soon as I watched that one I wanted to become a vampire.  Yeah...soooo, I'm fairly certain that when people watched "Mike and Molly" they didn't come away with the thought "Hey, I want to be obese now!"

As a matter of fact, advertising Overeaters Anonymous might even inspire some people to go to a are promoting weight loss!  

Yes, anorexia is sick,
I think you meant to say that anorexia is a disease….(just like obesity, by the way)...but you’re the writer here, not me. 

but at least some slim models are simply naturally skinny.

Suuuuure they are.  Take me to a runway and show me a woman who is 5’10 and a size 00 who is “naturally” that way…

No one who is as fat as Mike and Molly can be healthy.

I’m sorry, are you a physician now?  yeah…I thought not. 

And obesity is costing our country far more in terms of all the related health problems we are paying for, by way of our insurance, than any other health problem, even cancer.

“Even cancer”?  I would like you to site your source for this little gem, please. 

So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other

Oh, You are  “grossed out” when two happy people are kissing each other?!?!?!  Well, how about if it were two ugly people making out...or cancer patients...or two alcoholics….would you be so “grossed out” then?

To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair.

I’m so sorry that all of us “very very fat” people are all up in YOUR world being “aesthetically displeasing” to YOU.  We should just go jump off a bridge and let you get on with looking at all the "beautiful" people you approve of…

Now, don't go getting the wrong impression:

Too late…

I have a few friends who could be called plump. I'm not some size-ist jerk.

Actually, yes you are…

and I’m pretty sure your “plump” friends won’t be calling you any time soon.

And I also know how tough it can be for truly heavy people to psych themselves up for the long process of slimming down.

OH, do you now? I’m sorry…unless you have ever been 100lbs overweight and tried everything you can think of to lose it, you do NOT know how tough it is, darling….not even close…

(For instance, the overweight maintenance guy at my gym has talked to me a little bit about how it seems worthless for him to even try working out, because he's been heavy for as long as he can remember.)

Mmmm…what a great writer.  I’m so glad that you talked to your “plump friends”  and the “overweight management guy” at your gym to find out what it’s like to be overweight.  What is this, a third grade book report?  Jeeze…

But ... I think obesity is something that most people have a ton of control over. It's something they can change, if only they put their minds to it.

FYI, missy, obesity is not something people have a “ton” of control over.  With a lot of hard work, yes… some people can change….if THEY want to.  

People do have to put THEIR minds to it…not YOURS.  Just because YOU want someone to change, doesn’t mean that they should…or can.  Like my mother always says…mind your own business!

(I'm happy to give you some nutrition and fitness suggestions if you need them

NO THANKS!!!  I’m pretty sure you aren’t a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or exercise physiologist…

— but long story short, eat more fresh and unprocessed foods, read labels and avoid foods with any kind of processed sweetener in them whether it's cane sugar or high fructose corn syrup, increase the amount of fiber you're getting, get some kind of exercise for 30 minutes at least five times a week, and do everything you can to stand up more — even while using your computer — and walk more. I admit that there's plenty that makes slimming down tough, but YOU CAN DO IT! Trust me. It will take some time, but you'll also feel so good, physically and emotionally. A nutritionist or personal trainer will help — and if you can't afford one, visit your local YMCA for some advice.)

Guess what, honey…you can take your advice and shove it where the sun don’t shine!!!  Even if you were qualified to give this advice (which I’m sure you are not) I wouldn’t take it from someone who has been belittling me for the past 10 or so minutes... 

Then again, I guess these characters are in Overeaters Anonymous. So ... points for trying?

Points for trying??? POINTS FOR TRYING????  What the hell is that supposed to mean?!?!?  Just think about how offensive that statement would have sounded in your skinny little head if you had written that about someone in AA. 


Then again, I tend to think most television shows are a kind of junk food for the mind and body. The boob tube gives us an excuse to turn off both our brains and our bodies and probably does a helluva lot to contribute to the obesity problem, over all.  So ... I don't know.

You sure as hell don’t…

What do you guys think? Fat people making out on TV — are you cool with it?

Yeah, I’m “cool with it”…I’m pretty cool with anyone making out on TV.  Fat people…skinny people…gays…blondes…brunettes…vampires…witches…little cartoon bears.  

oh…and FYI, if I’m ever NOT “cool with it”  I just friggin’ change the channel…

BRILLANT, I know…  

Do you think I'm being an insensitive jerk?

Yes, without a question….but, if you needed to ask, you probably already knew the answer....


Feel free to read her apology at the end of the original article...but for me the fact that she used to be anorexic is no excuse for writing such a disgusting piece, never-mind actually having someone equally as clueless approve it to be published.  

It is my opinion that Marie Claire needs to have some sensitivity training in the work place.  But, whether they do or don't doesn't really matter to me, because I never intend on giving them my business again.  Ever.


  1. OMG.. I hadn't even heard of this article until I read your post. This lady INFURIATES me, and so does her so-called apology!!!!! ARG! She needs to lose her job...
    ::steam continues to rise from head::


  2. Kristen aka mother superior, Ms D told me about your blog. I just had the surgery on Nov 30 at Tufts. Came home 2 days later. Doing okay but having a tough time eating all I am supposed to. I subscribe to your blog now. My name is moochonski. Glad you're doing well.
    Mr Kelley