Letting my hair down...

In the past few weeks my hair has been falling out. In clumps. So, although this is an expected side effect of this surgery, and I know that it will grow back…I’m freaking out. Hardcore.

Before my surgery, my hair was something I could hide behind. Something I could control. There was no quick fix for fatness, so if I wanted to change my appearance, I made a trip to the salon.

Going to my salon on Newbury Street and seeing my stylist, Toby, to get a cut and highlight always puts me in the best mood. And (because I have the most talented hair stylist ever) my hair always looks fabulous. Well, to be honest...it should. I could feed a small village in Africa with what I spend on my hair in a year.

Before my surgery, I sometimes felt really intimidated. I hated that damned little black robe that never tied correctly (or even at all) around the expanse that was my gut...or how I felt when I squeezed my butt into the tiny hairdressing chair. When I walked in, I felt all eyes were on me…for all the wrong reasons.

But not this time! When I went a few weeks ago, I had my cute little robe on and tied it easily in the front. I even crossed my legs in the chair without issue. I got an adorable summer cut and a gorgeous blond highlight. I felt great while I was there. And when I left, I was just radiating sassiness.

Now that I'm dealing with the tactile reality of the situation, my irrational fear of thinning hair has made it seem like my worst nightmare has come true. The whole process seems like a small price to pay for the weight loss, but man….I just can’t seem to get over it! I know i won't be "bald" and I’m sure it could be worse…but every hair that falls out is a little twinge in my heart.

My doctors told me that the hair loss happens because of the state of malnutrition you are in and usually occurs at around 5 months. I think that because I’ve had more accelerated weight loss than expected, I’m dealing with this a little early…at 15 weeks. (I’m pretty sure that coloring my hair didn’t really help either, but it was totally worth it!) I’ve been told that a shampoo called Nioxin helps, so that’s on my shopping list for this week. I’ll keep you guys posted on how it works once I get it.

The good news is that everyone seems to like the new 'do and have complimented it many times. I often remind myself that everyone is not as overly critical of my appearance as I am. (Thank god...)

So, I’ve decided that when I start stressing out, I’m just going to try to stop…take some deep breaths…and remind myself that: #1- I look and feel so much better now and would do it all again in a heartbeat…and #2- no matter how much hair I do lose, it ultimately will grow back!