Will you be my Valentine?

Like every other “single” person on the planet, I’ve always hated Valentine’s Day.

Generally, I would request to be at work….mostly for my own safety.  Being there distracted me from all that Hallmark crap that made this lonely girl in her late 20s suicidal.  (In fact, last year's Valentine's Day was the last night I worked before I had my surgery 3 days later.)

It’s not that I didn’t like the sentiment that valentine's day is supposed to represent.  I mean, how can you dislike a holiday that encourages people to show love for each other!?!?  I just hated the fact that it reminded me that didn’t have a boyfriend.  For 24 long and painful hours. 

Don’t get me wrong, though.  I am loved!  I would get Valentine's Day flowers from my godson, Nicholas, who for the past 3 years has been my designated valentine.  Sometimes, I would get cards and e-mails form friends and family telling me how love was “just around the corner.”  It was sweet, but never completely filled the void for me. 

You see, I have never had a “real,” full on, grown–up Valentine’s Day.  Ever.  

As a bigger person, I didn't think anyone found me attractive.  I always assumed that people were judging me by my weight from the very first time they saw me.  I never ever expected anyone to want to to get to know me for who I was on the inside.  And, as much as I thought that I was “out there” in the dating world, I now realize that I really wasn’t.  Looking back, I can see that it was mostly my insecurities that kept me single.  Or (since I felt like I should be happy with whomever would take a second glance at me) kept me “pseudo-dating” creeps.

Heartbreaking. 

But, I think that over the past year I have gained so much self-confidence that I was finally ready to be in a healthy relationship.  And, just as I found myself really ready, I found someone as wonderful as Chris.   

Hit the jackpot on my first try?  I sure did.

He’s awesome, you guys.  Just awesome.  I could not have mapped out a more perfect person for me to be with.  He is also 29, a teacher to troubled teenagers, and loves the History Channel…just as much as this dork right here.   

He’s tall, handsome, and has just the dreamiest blue-grey eyes I have ever seen.  On several occasions when we are talking at dinner, I find myself swimming in them and looking like an idiot.  I don’t think he has noticed.  (Until now because he’ll probably read this…)

He loves to cook…healthy!  I totally feared the “eating out constantly” relationship style, but he loves to come to my house, pour me a glass of wine, and make me dinner.  And people in his family have had the gastric bypass, so he totally gets that whole situation.  It's so awesome because I’m never nervous about what he makes or how to eat in front of him.  So, while dating, we both can remain on our respective diets…mostly.  (I mean, everyone has to have a "love" brownie every once in awhile!)  But we understand and support each other.  It's just perfect.    

You guys, I’m falling hard for him.  We adore each other and, although I can’t say where things will end up, I’m pretty sure I’m going to be with him for a long, long time.   

My life is becoming everything I’ve ever wanted it to be.  I’m happy.  I’m healthy.  And for the first time ever, I was somebody’s valentine.  


(And in case you were wondering, it was just as fantastic as I thought it would be…<3...)

Chris and Kristen...Valentine's Day...2011